Gifts for Change

Recently, I was given the gift of assisting a
loved one in her last days.  In this case, it
was my former mother-in-law.  She became ill
suddenly and her sons were unable to go to New
York at that time.  I do believe everything
happens for a reason, and it was a blessing for
all concerned that I was the one who was able to
leave right away and make the trip.

I am no stranger to death and dying, having
worked for several hospices.  I have also
experienced the loss of my parents and sister.
Each death and transition is unique, however.
Through this recent experience, I received
several gifts or lessons.  Each one of them
helped me as I went through this change with her.
 

So many of us are going through changes and
challenges in our lives right now.  Perhaps you
will find in my words and descriptions something
helpful in your current life situation.  That is
my intent in sharing this personal story.
You don’t need to be going through the death of a
loved one for these gifts of change to be helpful. 
These apply to any change or challenge.

Five Lessons for Living Your Best Life and Making
Change Easier

Celebrate the Mirror and Relax Into the Fullness
of Who You Are

Everyone on this planet is a mirror of you and
me, no matter what language they speak, what
neighborhood they live in, or what’s going on in
their lives.  Each person I saw and met on this
trip was a reflection of some part of me.  Now, I
already knew that intellectually, however, it
became more integrated into my being.  I think
this lesson was stronger on this trip because I
was involved in a very intimate journey, and my
senses and intuition were heightened.

Whether it was the nurse who was screaming when
Mom and I arrived at the nurse’s station on her
floor, frustrated that she was being sent “one
more” patient, or the other nurse, the one who
said a very compassionate goodbye to us several
days later when we left the hospital, both of
these women showed me parts of myself.  Any
quality you see in another, whether it’s one that
is usually considered “negative” or one that is
“positive” lives in each of us.

Although I don’t want to live in New York, in
this case Queens, I certainly do like the variety
of ethnicities and personalities you meet on any
given day. One day, I was riding in a cab from
Mom’s apartment to the hospital and the driver
was playing an Enya CD on a boombox that was
sitting on the front seat of his cab.  He was
from South America originally and had a beautiful
accent.  It was clear that he was truly enjoying
the music and that he had found a way to relax
into his job.  He was showing me how to “relax
into” whatever the situation is, to make the most
of it.  We shared some brief conversation, but
mostly sat listening quietly to the music and
soaking in the warmth of the sunshine through the
car windows.  Outside it was chilly and windy,
but inside, we were cozy and serenaded by music
that didn’t require a lot from us.

Another day I was in a neighborhood grocery and
noticed the impatience of the clerk, waiting for
me to sort through my jumble of coins in my purse
as I paid for some produce.  I looked into his
eyes and saw myself, and felt patience for him
and for myself.  I’m not sure if he picked up on
the patience coming from me.  That’s ok.  I was
glad I didn’t have to react to his impatience.

I think one of the people who touched me very
deeply was a woman who was in the bed next to
Mom’s in the hospital.  She seemed to have some
dementia and would fight with some of the nurses.
 She didn’t have any visitors that I could see.
I would joke with her on occasion and see her
beautiful smile and in those moments of
connection I experienced a deeper awareness of my
mortality.  I saw that this woman could be me, or
any one of us, given certain circumstances. 

The lesson of the mirror is also about people
reflecting back to us the beauty within us that
we sometimes forget we have.  We all have someone
who sees our light, and I don’t mean just God.
Rejoice that they see past our weaknesses, our
small and large transgressions, and are able to
bring out the best in us.  Thank God for these
angels of light, reflection and refraction.  We
all have so much to teach each other.  And the
more we can embrace the light and the shadow in
ourselves, the more we will be able to reflect
our beauty and light to others.

Where is “the mirror” happening in your life
right now?  What challenges are before you,
whether they are people or circumstances?  What
are you seeing that is about you, not them?
Remember, if you are having an issue with        
another person, the quality you don’t like in
the other person is also something you don’t
want to acknowledge and own as part of yourself.

Learn to Witness

Watching this woman in the bed next to Mom gave
me a different sense of being in what I call the
“witness” role.  That’s where you step back a bit
from a situation and look at it from a
less-attached perspective.  When I have a client
in my office, I often have them stand up and
physically step backwards from whatever situation
they are focused on.  I want them to see it from
the “outside.”

I practiced this during my 2 weeks in New York.
I wanted to see situations from a softer, more
compassionate place, and doing this helped me
accomplish that.  There was another roommate in a
different room on the second floor where Mom was
transferred in the hospital.  This one seemed to
have a more advanced dementia than the other.
She was very quiet compared to the other one.
She sat on the edge of her bed, picking at the
sheets.  There was a moment when I caught her
gaze and I felt I was looking into her soul.
There was some recognition in that moment, just
one soul to another.  I don’t think I would have
had that moment with her if I had been in my
usual role.

Learning to witness not only deepens your
compassion for others and for yourself, but it
also allows you to see your choices in
situations.  Sometimes when we are too “close” to
a situation, we don’t see all our options.  We
need to step back, take a breath and
intentionally soften our focus and see our
situation from a new and less attached position.

Is there a situation in your life that you could
benefit from viewing from a different
perspective?  Try stepping back with the
intention of stepping into “the witness.”
Ask God, your guides, or angels to help you
see your life from a new perspective.

Learn to Focus with Gratitude for Small Steps

I certainly teach my clients about the “baby
steps” theory–that you can get a lot
accomplished, and complete very overwhelming
tasks by just taking one step at a time.  I found
that while I was in the “crisis” and “care
giving” modes on this trip that it was just
natural to put one foot in front of the other and
to stay focused and present.

I think that’s something I’ve noticed over the
years with clients who are in the care giving
role.  They learn to focus well because it’s
required.  In my case, my job was to ensure that
Mom got the best care possible while in the
hospital, to advocate for less testing and then
to facilitate a discharge back home and get her
some hospice home care.  Certainly dealing with
hospital bureaucracy tested my patience at times.
 I also really trusted the process that was
unfolding.  I knew her end days were happening,
and I wanted to assist however I was called.

Watching her eat, really her last meals, was
enlightening too.  She hadn’t been eating all
that well at home, fixing herself very simple
meals and towards the end, less nutritious and
balanced.  Even though I wasn’t happy that she
had to spend a week in the hospital, I did see
that there was a silver lining in that “cloud”
for her.  She had some really good meals.  Now,
we don’t usually think of hospital food as
something to get excited about.  But Mom was a
good eater and she enjoyed eating.  And to her,
these meals were a joy, at least many of them.
She looked forward to seeing what was under the
covers as I revealed the contents of the plates
beneath.  Although she was unable to eat the
portions that were served, she did get a good
taste of everything on the plates.  She really
had to focus on each bite, and take “baby bites,”
smaller that she was used to.  And, for those of
you who have made meals for your families or
yourself for years and years, you know what a joy
it is to be “served” and to not have to cook or
do dishes!  I’m glad she got to be treated like a
“queen” in this way. 

I learned from watching her eat those last meals
the power of focus and appreciation.  Would it be
helpful for you to create a baby-step focus right
now?  Can you appreciate fully the little
successes you have and not worry so much on the
desired larger goal?  Might you enjoy the journey
more that way?

Learn to Appreciate

There was a man who cleaned the floors in the
hospital every day.  They were so clean looking
yet didn’t have an antiseptic smell.  It was
really refreshing and more pleasant to be there.
This was in great contrast to another floor in
the same hospital, where not only were the floors
less clean, but it had that hospital smell you
might expect. 

I told the man cleaning the floors how much I
appreciated the good work he was doing.  He
looked startled but pleased.  Such a small thing
and yet so necessary.  I wanted to let him know
that he was valued, and that someone noticed what
he was doing.  So often, we just overlook the
people who are doing work that is “expected.” 
We can overlook our own “expected” work too.

I learned to appreciate myself more.  I saw that
even though I was in a very stressful situation,
I was making choices to keep myself physically
strong–washing my hands at the hospital, taking
my supplements including ones that were
specifically immune-supporting, eating well,
taking walks, and getting rest.  Although I was
truly exhausted each day, I also felt supported
by God and by my trust in the process.

I also noticed so many small things I would
usually take for granted.  Many of those things
were people or events that made me smile or
laugh.  Whether it was the little boy in the
hospital who was singing a nonsensical but
hilarious song about bees in the winter trees
(actually this would make a nice title for a
song!), or the absurdity of some hospital
regulations and red tape, I made it a priority to
notice the humor around me.

Are you needing to slow down a little more to
more fully appreciate your life?
Who might you choose to appreciate for the tasks       
they do daily that you take for granted?  Have
you been giving yourself appreciation for the
positive choices you make for your overall
well-being?

Learn to Listen

One of my great lessons this past year has been
to learn to listen better to that “still, small
voice within,” and to give myself time to be
still, time to sit with God.  So often we are
“talking to” God, and we leave little room for
receiving guidance.

When a loved one is dying, especially when they
are going in and out of consciousness, it can be
challenging to hear what their needs are.  You
have to pay attention to body cues, and you can
also get a lot of information by taking that
still, quiet time.  That said, there were still
times when I was unsure what Mom needed, whether
she was in pain, and what the next best step
would be.  I would stop at those times, take a
deep breath, and reassure myself that everything
was in “Divine Order” and to trust the process.
I also took advantage of the support offered by
hospital and hospice personnel and asked lots of
questions.

When someone is dying, one thing I’ve learned is
that they can usually hear everything you say to
them, even if they may not respond in usual ways.
 The night Mom died, I knew her transition was
close.  I was listening carefully to her
breathing, for the signs of her impending
journey.  I sensed that she was engaged in cycles
of coming and going between this world and the
next.

Both of Mom’s sons were on their way, but neither
were going to make it before her final journey.
As she lie there, I knew she needed to hear
messages from them and from her granddaughter, a
final gift of love.  I whispered in her ear
loving words as well as the important message
that it was ok for her to go, and that we would
all take care of each other.  I wanted the last
thing she heard from us to be words of
appreciation.  Her raised eyebrow showed me that
she had heard and appreciated this meaningful
message. 

Are you taking time to listen to God?  Do you
feel like the “Lone Ranger” and you have to just
keep going and “doing” to make sure it all gets
done?  If you opened some time and your heart to
guidance, might your burden lighten?  Are there            
other areas where you could be a better listener?

Learn to Die

This was the best lesson of all.  I watched Mom
as she took her last breaths that day.  For a
good part of the time, she was doing cycles of
chain stoking, a kind of breath that the dying
do.  This is where you hear that raspy, rapid
breathing, and then you’ll have seconds where
there is no breath at all.

As she went through these cycles, she was also
going through another kind of letting go.  She
would have these active phases where she was
reaching out to what I imagine were loved ones in
spirit.  It appeared she was working very hard.
She was not fully conscious and had her eyes
closed.  Then, after a couple of minutes of this
more active physical state, she would let go,
release and her breathing would become more
still, just as her body would relax.  It reminded
me of those waves of pain and release that happen
when you have menstrual cramps.  It looked
exactly like that cycling, and each time she went
into the release and relax mode, I found myself
relaxing along with her.

I then thought about when I gave birth to my
daughter.  Ah yes, of course, just like
contractions.  They come in those waves and then
you have a rest period until the next one.  It
appeared that she was going through a similar
process.  I remembered from my hospice days that
I was truly acting as a midwife for Mom.  I was
helping her to make her transition out of her
body, into spirit, just as a midwife or doctor
helped her into her life and out of her mother’s
body 95 years before.

What a beautiful mystery, this letting go.  I
think if we can all consciously learn “to die” we
would be so much better off.  Not just to
physically die so much as to allow outdated and
limiting baggage within us to go, to die and be
released.  We can consciously learn to surrender
to the force of change, and to trust that God is
always with us, supporting us through it all.
Letting go makes space for new life, for new
beginnings and for something more supportive and
more life-enhancing to occur within us.

I’m sure I went through a death of sorts myself
on that trip.  I surrendered to my love for Mom,
releasing judgments about her and others, and
experiencing the necessary oneness that comes
from choosing to awaken and live life from the
heart.  I came home and felt utterly changed.  As
I drove from the airport to my house I felt like
I was on another planet.  Six months later, I can
see that my planet is the same one I have lived
on all these years, yet the beauty I see daily is
more vivid, and my gratitude for life’s lessons
grows daily.

Where do you need to relax and let go?  What part
of you is “dying” and transforming into something
more supportive and empowered? Are you fighting
the upsets and changes in your life?  Are you        
frozen by fear about what is coming next?

Sometimes relaxing into what “is” is the first step   
to creating something different and better.  Could
you learn how to use the energy of change to your
benefit, instead of resisting it and creating more
tension and dis-ease?

Effective Tools to Help with Your Changes and
Challenges

I’ve talked to a lot of people who have had some fears
about the future lately.  (and me too!) How about you?

Are you anxious with the changes in your life?  Do you
have trouble sleeping because of the rolling thoughts
in your head?  Do you feel indecisive and confused
about the steps to take on your life path?

Maybe you just need some fresh tools and a little guidance
to help you move forward with more ease and confidence.
There are as many ways to get some support and
tools as there are people in the world.  You have
to choose what works for you.  Many people have
benefited from the books, music and courses that
I teach. 

If you haven’t already, take a look at the “Catch the Breeze”
Telecourse. 
 http://www.themagnificentyou.com/catch.html

Perhaps you can’t commit to a 7-week course at this time.
Intentional music is one of the most effective
tools for dealing with change.  It helps you to
easily change negative thinking to positive.  If
you haven’t already seen my super summer
special, take a look now. I’ve got 3 for the
price of 1!  (includes 2 books and 3 intentional
music CD’s).  Effective tools for change and
living your best life are at:

http://themagnificentyou.com/summerspecial.html

This offer ends September 1, 2008

Whatever you decide to do for yourself right now,
be sure to create joy and love in your life.
This will help immensely to diminish the
fears and anxiety you carry within.

Many blessings to you,
Marcia Breitenbach

If you’re not already familiar with this, coming up in 6 days is a world-wide event to create a wave of healing across the planet.

Anyone who wants to participate does so at 7:00 to 8:00 pm in their own time zone, thus creating the wave of vibrations travelling around the Earth during a 24-hour period.
1.  At 7pm on June 18, do something that brings you love and joy (prayer, meditation, chanting, surfing) and dedicate it to the Earth and all its inhabitants.
 
2. Send this information to your loved ones around the world.
 
3. E-mail us, info@actonwisdom.com <http://us.f624.mail.yahoo.com/ym/Compose?To=info@actonwisdom.com> , so that we can include you and your loved ones on our WAVE1 world map.
 
 
 
To learn more about WAVE1, please visit our website: http://www.wave1.org <http://www.wave1.org/> . 
 
Together, we will give the Earth a hug, in the spirit of love and joy!

I know you probably get moving too quickly as you go about your days, right?  And you also know that it’s your choice to maintain that pace, knowing that it’s hard on you physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, right?

Well, just come away from what you’re doing for a moment with me.  Let’s go onto my back porch.  The first thing I do is I take off the old pale purple flannel sheet that I put over the flower pots last night before bed.  It’s still chilly out, but it’s going to warm up fast today and I want to give the flowers a chance to soak up some of this delicious sun.

I see the soil is getting dry, so I’ll water them in a few minutes.  But first I lean over to smell the purple and white flowers that are still blooming.   Since summer!  I don’t know their name, I just know they fill me with smiles everytime I smell them.  Their stems are bent over from the weight of the sheet.  I know that with some fresh water and the warmth, they’ll be stretching upwards soon.

Next, I go and sit down against the wall, my face to the sun.  The stone at my back is really cold, and feels perfect with the heat on my face.  A cold nose brushes my hand and I open my eyes to see one of my dogs.  He climbs onto my lap and we both inhale deeply, delighting in the fresh air and the luxury of sitting together, peacefully drinking in the sun’s rays.  I look down at the top of his head and marvel at the miracle of his beauty.  His ears and the top of his head are so smooth, like velvet.  The red, the brown, the blond and the white hairs all blend and shine together under my tender hands.  I am in awe of the perfection of color, texture and how all the little hairs are each sitting where they’re supposed to be.  My heart fills with gratitude for having this perfect moment.

It is a very simple thing, really, isn’t it?  To take a few minutes from our day and to focus on the details of nature, some part of God’s creation?  The benefits are extraordinary:  by bringing your focus to the details, not the details of all your “doing” but the details of your “being,” you improve your health on all levels.  It is a form of meditation.  Your heart rate slows, your breathing deepens, your senses come alive, you remove yourself from the negative energies around you, and you open a space inside for healing and gratitude.  There are other benefits to be gleaned from this simple exercise. 

So go ahead, take a few moments and go outside and really study a flower or a leaf.  Breathe deeply.  Get into the details.  Give it a try and let me know what you discover!

Many blessings!

A few months ago I had to just stop everything I was doing.  Why?  Because all my great marketing efforts were not paying off.  All my positive thinking was not creating a change in my bank book.  All my visualizations, working with limiting beliefs, and using strong emotion to imagine my financial abundance as already here were bringing anything but more clients and revenue.  Using the Law of Attraction’s principles to bring about financial prosperity was wearing me out.

Do you sense a theme here?  Financial abundance and prosperity.  Although I had other things on my mind, I certainly was using a lot of intent, energy and focus to create a greater flow of cash.

Read the rest of this entry »

As I focus more on my spiritual self, I also see that the choices I make in my marketing decisions are changing as well.

If you have a website or business and want to learn how to integrate your marketing with your spirituality, you’ll be interested in the work of my friends and colleagues, Judith and Jim.  They are excellent teachers and models for this evolving trend in marketing.

You can attend some free teleclasses to learn more, and they’ll also inform you of their upcoming conference in Los Angeles.

To get access to their free calls and more info, you can go to:

http://tinyurl.com/yuexou

I’m starting the New Year with seeing everyone as
my neighbor.  Maybe I should add, as a wonderful
neighbor!  Have you seen the commercial that
shows cars zipping down a highway and then it
shows a couple of guys in the median barbecuing,
and the voice on the commercial says something
about seeing people on the road as potential good
neighbors.  I think it was an advertisement for
safe driving, but I’m not sure.  What stuck with
me was the image of the 2 people in the middle of
a busy freeway, cooking their dinner together and
laughing over a brew.

I think it’s a great idea for all of us to hold
that image in our heads for the New Year.  With
all the chaos around the world, the divisiveness
at home in the U.S., and whatever is going on in
your local communities or personal life, making a
conscious choice to see people, strangers
especially, not as faceless individuals who
aren’t important to you and your life, but rather
as neighbors, good neighbors who wish you well.
The benefits of doing this for yourself and the
good vibrations it sends out into the world are
awesome.

I was at the bank this morning, and went through
the drive-in part to make a deposit.  I put my
deposit into the capsule and sent it whooshing
into the bank via that pipe.  As I was sitting Read the rest of this entry »

Marianne sat on the edge of her seat, leaning towards me and, through her sobs and hiccoughs, stated very clearly, “I don’t want to do Christmas!” “I can’t, I just can’t.”

Marianne was one of my clients, a middle-aged woman whose husband had died the previous year. She had gone through the first holiday season, one year ago, in a state of numbness after the unexpected death of her husband in November.

As she looks back at that time, she realizes she had a kind of protective cushion around her, with all the paperwork taking up much of her time, as well as having a lot of family and friends around to distract her from the silence and stillness.

Now, one year later, there are no more protective buffers keeping her at bay from the intense feelings of grief, and the loneliness. She, like many others, approaches the holidays with anxiety and dread.

What You Can Do

First of all, you have more than two choices here. If you are having a hard time facing the upcoming holidays, whichever ones you celebrate, there are some guidelines to lessen your anxiety and to make things easier on yourself. Read the rest of this entry »

As strange as it may seem to you, I have been afraid of music! Coming from the Songletter Lady, this must seem very weird.

I’ve Had a Rough Year: How About You?

I also share part of my personal story with you, because I know it will help you to understand me better, and I believe it will help you to understand yourself better too.

If you’ve been struggling at all this year, whether it’s with your health, finances, business, or relationships, you are not alone, and I know some things that might help you.

I have had a really meager year in terms of business. Most of you don’t know me, so just know that I am a very dedicated person to learning more about myself, the world, and to following my passion and my mission.

I thought I was doing the work I was supposed to be doing, and I had been taking marketing courses to learn how to get my work out there.  I had been putting into action the steps I had been learning and feeling confident and enthusiastic.

I understood that growing a business takes time, and I was patient.

Sometimes the Best Tools, Thoughts and Beliefs Aren’t Enough

I had been working diligently to get my business going. I had great enthusiasm for learning and putting tools into practice. I was one of the most positive people you’d want to meet, and I was putting the law of attraction to work with ease.  This law had worked well for me in the past.  However, there was something missing because I wasn’t attracting a financial flow.

The Law of Attraction Wasn’t Working as I Taught It

I also spent a year working on my subconscious beliefs that might sabotage all those great efforts. Sometime this year, probably right after the summer, I began to have doubts. Big doubts. I saw that all the right tools weren’t working for me. They seemed to work for my clients. Why not me? Read the rest of this entry »

There is wonderful energy right now for you to take advantage of to move yourself to the next level of understanding and optimal health of your spirit, mind, body and heart.

Take a look at some exciting and awesome workshops coming up in southern California.  Read the rest of this entry »

My friend Bonnie has a most wonderful website.  It is a virtual spa that you can visit every day and refresh, rejuvenate and maintain your sanity during challenging times.

Right now, she is allowing you free access, so you might want to run over there right now and check it out.

This free access runs from September 28th through October 4th.  You just go to http://www.serenitypathways.com/vs/ and then enter in the user name: trialaccess and the password: free.

Enjoy,

Marcia Breitenbach